Epigram
Top Poster
Has anyone been stuck in the mud and prepared to share their experience or advice?
Now that the dust of Christmas and New Year has settled I thought I would give you guys a laugh at my expense.
It was late December:
I cleaned and washed the MP so that it could hibernate in a nice warm dry barn where it can gobble up as much electricity as it wants and be ready for action in a couple of months time.
There is some debate as to when the monsoon season starts and finishes in the Wye Valley but December was even wetter than usual.
The route to the barn is via a couple of fields and passes through a field gate which has cut up and rutted.
Not wanting to get the vehicle dirty, I drove slowly through through the gateway staying on the high side of the muddy ruts.
The inevitable happened. The vehicle sunk into the soft turf up the rims with a bow wave of mud and turf in front of the front wheels. It was well and truly stuck right in the middle of the gateway.
Much as I hanker for four wheel drive, it would have made absolutely no difference in these conditions and it was clear that no amount of digging and mats was going to get me out of this mess.
Luckily a tractor (a 50 year old pride and joy) was on hand and the rear tow hitch of the MP was connected to a tow rope ready for an ignominious reverse tow.
Despite being a competent driver, my wife (I’ll call her Mrs Epigram) has not, and does not want to drive the MP - “I’m not going to be the first to put a scratch in it” is her usual response.
However, after persuasion and quick course on gear location - “But that lever does the washers on a VW! “ she got in and engaged reverse while I pulled the MP backwards with the tractor.
While being pulled backwards, the MP slid sideways and down into the rutted quagmire in the gateway.
Mrs Epigram panicked and, thinking the van was going to hit a gatepost, accelerated so that she could steer away from the post.
The MP was now accelerating towards the tractor faster than the tractor could escape and I am now the one who is panicking!
Mrs Epigram, relieved that that she is now clear of the gate post slams on the brakes and stops the MP. The tractor is still moving in reverse as fast as it can go and is rapidly taking up the slack in the tow rope but I manage to stop without snapping the rope.
The towrope is disconnected, I level out the quagmire of ruts in the gateway with old carpet and anything else I can find to smooth the way.
I back up the MP a good 30 yards........
CHARGE !
I fly at the gateway, traction control flashing and rear end snaking like a slow motion dragster.
There is no stopping me now. Through the gate and into the barn.
HOME AND DRY !
Well not exactly. There is mud up the sides of the van past the windows and the wheels are caked in brown ooze.
I spend the next half hour cleaning up as best I can.
Lessons learned:
For me: Put the van away when its dry next time. I will do the usual checks for roof blisters when I get the remaining mud splatters off the roof.
For Mrs Epigram: By stealth she has now driven the MP 15 yards backwards and one yard sideways. Who knows ? I might persuade her to go forwards in 2020!
Happy New Year to all, may our travels in 2020 be enjoyable and safe.
Now that the dust of Christmas and New Year has settled I thought I would give you guys a laugh at my expense.
It was late December:
I cleaned and washed the MP so that it could hibernate in a nice warm dry barn where it can gobble up as much electricity as it wants and be ready for action in a couple of months time.
There is some debate as to when the monsoon season starts and finishes in the Wye Valley but December was even wetter than usual.
The route to the barn is via a couple of fields and passes through a field gate which has cut up and rutted.
Not wanting to get the vehicle dirty, I drove slowly through through the gateway staying on the high side of the muddy ruts.
The inevitable happened. The vehicle sunk into the soft turf up the rims with a bow wave of mud and turf in front of the front wheels. It was well and truly stuck right in the middle of the gateway.
Much as I hanker for four wheel drive, it would have made absolutely no difference in these conditions and it was clear that no amount of digging and mats was going to get me out of this mess.
Luckily a tractor (a 50 year old pride and joy) was on hand and the rear tow hitch of the MP was connected to a tow rope ready for an ignominious reverse tow.
Despite being a competent driver, my wife (I’ll call her Mrs Epigram) has not, and does not want to drive the MP - “I’m not going to be the first to put a scratch in it” is her usual response.
However, after persuasion and quick course on gear location - “But that lever does the washers on a VW! “ she got in and engaged reverse while I pulled the MP backwards with the tractor.
While being pulled backwards, the MP slid sideways and down into the rutted quagmire in the gateway.
Mrs Epigram panicked and, thinking the van was going to hit a gatepost, accelerated so that she could steer away from the post.
The MP was now accelerating towards the tractor faster than the tractor could escape and I am now the one who is panicking!
Mrs Epigram, relieved that that she is now clear of the gate post slams on the brakes and stops the MP. The tractor is still moving in reverse as fast as it can go and is rapidly taking up the slack in the tow rope but I manage to stop without snapping the rope.
The towrope is disconnected, I level out the quagmire of ruts in the gateway with old carpet and anything else I can find to smooth the way.
I back up the MP a good 30 yards........
CHARGE !
I fly at the gateway, traction control flashing and rear end snaking like a slow motion dragster.
There is no stopping me now. Through the gate and into the barn.
HOME AND DRY !
Well not exactly. There is mud up the sides of the van past the windows and the wheels are caked in brown ooze.
I spend the next half hour cleaning up as best I can.
Lessons learned:
For me: Put the van away when its dry next time. I will do the usual checks for roof blisters when I get the remaining mud splatters off the roof.
For Mrs Epigram: By stealth she has now driven the MP 15 yards backwards and one yard sideways. Who knows ? I might persuade her to go forwards in 2020!
Happy New Year to all, may our travels in 2020 be enjoyable and safe.
